At Best Self, we’re always seeking greater personal awareness, collective unity, and a stronger expression of love, both of self and others. We were immediately drawn to the work of Mike de la Rocha, who is committed to breaking forever the cycle toxic masculinity and opening a portal to greater love, joy and connection—not just for males, but for all humans. We hope you enjoy his inspiring responses to our questions as much as we do!
Q: How have societal expectations of masculinity influenced men’s ability to express love and vulnerability?
Throughout my life, I’ve witnessed how the weight of masculinity—shaped by silence and societal expectation—has affected my ability to express love, be vulnerable, and ask for help. I wrote Sacred Lessons: Teaching My Father How to Love to answer a question that has haunted me for my entire life: Why was it so hard for my father to tell me that he loved me? What began as a search for understanding became a journey into our shared pain inherited through generations who were taught to suffer in silence. As I peeled back the layers, I saw how deeply the dominant culture embedded in me a belief that real men don’t cry.